just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
