They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
