my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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