when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm drive I can fine osifer
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
