As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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