I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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