I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Can vaginas get frostbite?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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