have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
