I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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