the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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