How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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