hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Also, beer. Big fan.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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