You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
