this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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