): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
