The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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