well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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