I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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