I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
