Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
