he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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