so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
