how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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