Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
