Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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