The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
