Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
