i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
