Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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