Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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