called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I can't put those talents on a resume
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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