i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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