Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
