Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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