Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
