He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
