i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
