i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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