Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
