i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
