Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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