omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
