so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
