covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
