I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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