...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
