I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
