Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
