Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
