I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
