I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
