YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
