i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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