that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
