went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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