I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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