i think i have herpe
just one?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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