I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
