i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize