Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
