If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
