yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I think my moral compass just broke
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