If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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