Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
