Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
