I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
